God's Grace

I have read 5 books so far this summer, 

and I'm a few chapters into book #6. 

The book I've enjoyed the most of all was

Speechless 

by Steven Curtis Chapman 

and his pastor Scotty Smith.

I happened about this book in the oddest way: 

we were staying at our friends' house in Florida,

and the outlet in the guest room 

was right beside the bookshelf. 

I plugged in my hairdryer,

threw my hair over my head,

(I dry my hair from underneath...

I think it's gotten thicker as I've gotten older!),

and read the titles of the books upside-down.

I've always been a fan of 

Steven Curtis Chapman's music,

and wondered if this was the book 

written following the death of his daughter.

(It's not, but I'd love to read that book soon!)

Speechless is, in fact, all about God's grace.

God's sense of humor is not lost on me...

He had just bestowed a huge gift 

of grace to me days earlier.

***

Two years ago, I got fired from a job I loved 

at a school I loved.

Coupled with our unsuccessful fertility treatments,

I sank into a fierce depression.

As I described it to a friend,

I was so deep 

it took several months for me to even realize it, 

then a few months more 

to have any energy to do anything about it.

I have a strong desire to "people please"...

I avoid conflict at all costs,

I don't want others to see me at less than my best,

I strive for perfection.

I've been this way my whole life, 

and I've always had control issues.

I suffer from OCD

(ask my sister about my crayons,

or Marc about the towels!).

These two very PERSONAL issues

were handled very PUBLICALLY.

I was left with a sense of utter failure. 

I felt so...unworthy.

Unworthy...of God's love.

Unworthy...of Marc's love.

Unworthy...of friends.

Unworthy...of a second chance.

But God has taught me a lot in the past two years.

Humility. Dependence. Forgiveness.

I am unworthy.

My righteousness is like a filthy rag.

But God loved me enough to send His Son

because I'm not worthless.

God has a plan for me, for my life,

for my family, for my career.

And God has given me another gift of grace...

He has restored my job.

As of August,

I will again be teaching at SCA.

I'll be back in the Preschool,

teaching the 2 year old class.

I know there are people 

who doubt the decision to allow me to return.

I am grateful for God's leading 

in the hearts of the leadership 

who've given me the opportunity.

Don't think the full impact 

of what this means is lost on me.

I will forever be grateful

for God's grace!

***

There were a few quotes from the book

 I wanted to remember.

I posted a few of these on Facebook 

while I was reading the book.

Maybe some of these will impact you

as they did me.

Scotty Smith:

God loves His children exactly as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us that way.


Good activities are the enemy of the best. There are always far more opportunities to minister than God's will demands of us.


To be a good friend is to know our own weakness, failure, and foolishness well enough to share it with others, with humility and longing to grow.


God's grace enables us to serve one another because of the way Jesus serves us in the Gospel. We learn to love each other as we are loved by Him. Unfortunately, our culture tends to only value those relationships that are personally gratifying. The trend often defines our relationship with God "what's in it for me? I will be as committed to this friendship as I am personally fulfilled and satisfied." Friends, spouses, and churches are chosen and discarded for purely functional reasons.


Faithful and dutiful practice of spiritual disciplines, without strong emphasis on the Gospel, tends to create proud legalists.


To understand the heart of God is never to be surprised at the painful lengths He will go to free us from our enslavement to self-centeredness.


The Gospel does not merely bring forgiveness--it brings healing. God, as Redeemer, is in the process of making new realities out of old broken ones...The Gospel brings dignity to our sorrow and suffering. God's grace does not free us from looking at our past, but it gives us the courage we need to heal, repent, and grow.

Steven Curtis Chapman:

Our lives are being shaped, by design or default, by those whom we have given access and power over our minds and hearts. (Proverbs 13:20)


An understanding heart in a listening friend is a rare gift.


The pearl of God's love is a really huge boulder hurled into the tranquil pool of our self-centered living. The ripples both upset and liberate us.


How are we to make sense of these moments when everything we've been taught to be trustworthy appears otherwise? What do we do when God's promises seem to apply to everyone but us?


His grace is most visible when our need is most obvious.


"Grace runs downhill." (Jack Miller) We are the best candidates for the love of God when we feel the most unworthy and inadequate.


Sometimes God must first dismantle old structures in our hearts so that His new creation can emerge. The tearing down process isn't nearly as fun as seeing the new construction rise up, but both are part of what it means to grow in grace.


"There is no limit to what God can do through the man or woman doesn't care who gets the credit."
 Jack Miller


"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
Jim Elliot


"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."
Jerry Bridges